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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27016651">and then my whole wide world went zoom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrambledhearts/pseuds/scrambledhearts'>scrambledhearts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Happy-ish at least, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, i guess it's post movie???, look it's canon compliant okay, missing scenes I guess, okay i'll shut up now, other background relationships, rated t for like. two curse words, same ending as the movie, starmora can be read as gen or pre-slash, ughhhh i'm so tired, working title: sad boi hours</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:40:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,870</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27016651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrambledhearts/pseuds/scrambledhearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When they find Peter, he's still holding the body.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Drax the Destroyer &amp; Gamora &amp; Groot &amp; Mantis &amp; Peter Quill &amp; Rocket Raccoon, Drax the Destroyer &amp; Peter Quill, Gamora &amp; Peter Quill, Gamora/Peter Quill, Groot &amp; Peter Quill, Kraglin Obfonteri &amp; Peter Quill, Peter Quill &amp; Guardians of the Galaxy Team, Peter Quill &amp; Rocket Raccoon, Peter Quill &amp; Yondu Udonta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and then my whole wide world went zoom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ngl the beginning is pretty rough because i had no idea how to start off but i think it turned out okay. i spent forever writing this because i kept procrastinating until i told myself to just finish it so i had everything done except for the last part, at which point i procrastinated for at least two weeks. Anyways it's been two months since i posted so i had fun with this! Title from Zoom by Fat Larry's Band.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(Peter has a father.)</p><p>(His father killed his mother.)</p><p>“Listen to me! You are a god! If you kill me, you'll just be like everyone else!”</p><p>Ego’s eyes are crazed. Desperate. His hands fist in Peter’s jacket, and voice hard, Peter says, “What’s so wrong with that?”</p><p>“<em> No </em>—”</p><p>A boom cuts him off, and Ego crumbles to dust. </p><p>(And now Peter has killed his father.)</p><p>Maybe he should feel a sense of loss, but instead he’s overwhelmed by relief.</p><p>That monster is gone. There’s nothing left of him inside of Peter.</p><p>The walls around him explode and collapse, battering his body with debris, but it’s all distant, muffled, like he isn’t really there. Peter knows with a dreadful certainty that he is going to die, and he closes his eyes, at peace with the fact. Flashes of memories play behind his eyes—Gamora laughing, her head thrown back and eyes crinkling shut, Drax trying and failing to catch Groot dancing, Rocket watching them with an impossibly fond look in his eyes when he thinks no one’s looking, Yondu teaching him how to fly a ship.</p><p>He’s going to miss his family.</p><p>And then someone grabs him, lifting him up and away from the ground, and—he <em> knows </em> those arms.</p><p>It’s Yondu.</p><p>The planet explodes behind them, flames licking their heels, the planet caving in on itself. Yondu’s arms tighten around him as they soar higher. “He may have been your father, boy,” Yondu says, looking at him, “but he wasn’t your daddy.”</p><p>Peter gazes at him. There’s something in his eyes, something that makes his chest feel thick and warm. </p><p>“I'm sorry I didn't do none of it right. I'm damn lucky you're my boy.”</p><p><em> Oh, </em> he realizes. <em> It’s love. </em></p><p>Peter’s eyes burn.</p><p>Yondu slaps something onto his chest—the spacesuit disk, he realizes. “What?” Peter breathes, his eyebrows furrowing as he’s covered by the shimmery sheath, and Yondu smiles.</p><p>They fly up into space, and he hears Yondu breath out, exhaling as if it’s the last time he will ever experience it, and it hits him.</p><p>There’s only one spacesuit.</p><p>He struggles against Yondu’s arms, trying to get free, but he’s trapped in his embrace, the entire planet collapsing underneath them. “Yondu, you can’t!” he yells, tears burning his eyes. “What are you doing?”</p><p>The jet pack sputters and they stop, floating there in space.</p><p>“<em> What are you doing? </em>”</p><p>Yondu’s grip weakens, </p><p>“Yondu. Yondu, no!” <em> Dad, </em> he thinks. <em> Dad, please don’t leave me. </em> “No,” Peter says desperately, looking around wildly, before his gaze lands on the disc stuck to his chest and he claws at it, trying to get it off, trying to— </p><p>Trying to save his dad.</p><p>“<em> No! </em> No, no—no—” The words tapers off into a sob. Yondu grabs his face with frozen hands, looking at him with so much love that it knocks the breath out of him, before his hands go lax and his body goes limp, and then he’s breathless for an entirely different reason. “ <em> No! </em>”</p><p>He grabs Yondu’s body with shaking hands, refusing to let him drift away, pulling him close and sobbing on his chest.</p><p>(When they find Peter, he’s still holding the body.)</p>
<hr/><p>Peter refuses to leave his room for a whole week.</p><p>“Peter,” Gamora says, from the other side of the door. “Peter, <em> please </em>, come out. It’s been a week.”</p><p>“No, thanks,” he says roughly from where he’s sitting on the ground, his back against the door. If he cranes his neck, he can see her shoes from the gap underneath the door. “I’d rather stay here.”</p><p>“Peter. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”</p><p>“Actually, I’m pretty sure I can.”</p><p>He hears her sigh, and then there’s the sound of fabric against the wall as she slides down onto the floor. He studies his hands, which are warm to the touch but feel cold, have felt cold since the day he lost Yondu.</p><p>(If he concentrates, he can almost feel the phantom sensation of a frozen body underneath his hands.)</p><p>“At least let me stay with you,” Gamora says, and Peter—</p><p>Peter stays quiet.</p><p>“Please?” she adds tentatively. “I’ll stay right here on the other side of the door. Just—don’t do this alone, alright?”</p><p>“Okay,” he says quietly, reaching out underneath the door. After a moment, her hand covers his. His fingers feel warm for the first time in a week as she squeezes his hand.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>If Gamora hears his quiet sniffles, she doesn’t comment on them.</p>
<hr/><p>“Quill, you gonna come out? I got food for ya.”</p><p>“Kraglin?”</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“Yeah, Quill. It’s me.”</p><p>“I think I’ll skip. I don’t feel like eating.”</p><p>“Sorry, Quill. You ain’t got a choice.”</p><p>A beat.</p><p>“What’ve you got for me?”</p><p>“Your favourite.”</p><p>“Yondu got that for me when I was on the ship as a kid, you know. It was the first food I’d had and I was starving. I didn’t eat anything else for a week.”</p><p>“I remember.”</p><p>“...I miss him.”</p><p>A sigh. “Me too, Pete. Me too.”</p>
<hr/><p>When the time for Yondu’s funeral comes, Peter isn’t ready. He isn’t ready, and by the end of it he’s a goddamn wreck, but he goes ahead and speaks at it anyways.</p><p>“The other day I told Gamora how I used to pretend my dad was David Hasselhoff,” he starts. Drax and Rocket exchange a look. “He's a singer and actor from Earth...a really famous guy.”</p><p>Drax nods, and Peter stares at Yondu’s body. One of the toys surrounding him is the one he gave Yondu, after the battle with Ronan. His eyes burn.</p><p>“And, you know, today it struck me. Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. And he didn't have the voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. And both David Hasselhoff and Yondu went on kickass adventures, and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots.  So, the thing is, David Hasselhoff kinda did end up being my dad after all, only he was Yondu. I had...I had a pretty cool dad.” It’s getting harder to keep it together—he can hear the waver in his own voice. Gamora’s foot nudges his, and he swallows.</p><p>“And what I'm trying to say here,” he continues, “is that thing you're searching for your whole life…”</p><p>Disjointed memories from when he was younger and living with the Ravagers flash through his head—getting his implant and finally being able to understand what everyone was saying, Yondu teaching him how to shoot and fly a ship, Kraglin ruffling his hair fondly as Peter batted his hands away, and he has to swallow.</p><p>“Sometimes it's right there by your side all along,” he finishes, his voice rough, “and you don't even know it.”</p><p>Gamora leaves, then, chases after Nebula, and Peter wipes his eyes.</p><p>“I am Groot?” he hears Groot ask.</p><p>“Yeah,” Rocket says, his voice hoarse. “That’s the friend I was talking about.”</p><p>“I am Groot.”</p><p>He hears a sniff. “Yeah. He did call you twig.”</p><p>When Gamora comes back, they all lift Yondu onto the plank, slide him into the crematory, and Peter watches with blurry eyes as his body is enveloped by the swirling colours as he closes the door, before starting to walk away.</p><p>“Pete.” He turns toward Kraglin, who’s holding something in his hands. “Cap'n found this for you in a junker shop. Said someday you'd come back to the fold.” He places the thing in his hands. “It's called a Zune - what everyone listens to on earth nowadays. It's got three hundred songs.”</p><p>“Three hundred?” he repeats, his throat tight.</p><p>“Three hundred.” Kraglin moves to walk away, and he’s struck with an idea.</p><p>“Wait.” Peter holds out Yondu’s arrow to him, and Kraglin’s lip trembles. “Rocket grabbed the pieces and reassembled them. I think...I think Yondu would want you to have it.”</p><p>Kraglin swallows. Nods. Takes the arrow, holding it reverently as he offers Peter a wobbly smile. “Thanks...Cap’n.”</p>
<hr/><p>Later, Peter sits down on his bed, alone, scrolling through the music selections on the Zune. <em> His </em> new Zune, the one that Yondu got for him because he always believed that he’d come back, and he’s such a wreck that the thought makes his eyes water for what’s got to be the hundredth time today. Before he can start to cry, he stops on a song called ‘Father and Son’.</p><p>He presses play.</p><p>
  <em> It's not time to make a change, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just relax, take it easy, </em>
</p><p>Groot crawls up on the bed—and when did<em> he </em>get here?—clambering into Peter’s lap.</p><p>
  <em> You're still young, that's your fault, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> There's so much you have to know, </em>
</p><p>Groot looks up at him curiously, reaching out his hands,  and Peter offers him an earbud. He feels a pang of bittersweet fondness, watching as Groot listens in amazement to the song.</p><p>
  <em> Find a girl, settle down </em>
</p><p>
  <em> If you want you can marry </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy, </em>
</p><p>Groot smiles up at him sweetly, tiny hands clutching his fingers, and he closes his eyes, trying to stop his tears, manages to smile back.</p><p>They sit there together, right up until Groot pulls on his shirt and points to the window, where he can see countless ships drifting past them. His breath catches.</p><p>“It can’t be,” he breathes, standing up, cupping Groot in his hands, but it <em> is. </em> “C’mon. Let’s go to the others.”</p><p>Groot clambers onto his shoulder as they head to the flight deck, joining Gamora as she enters.</p><p>“What is it?” he hears Drax ask.</p><p>“I sent word to Yondu’s old Ravager buddies and told them what he did,” Rocket answers, as Peter stops behind him, Gamora at his shoulder.</p><p>“It’s a Ravager funeral,” he breathes, a smile tugging at his lips. Groot jumps onto Gamora’s shoulder, just as the light show starts, each of the ships flashing their own separate light sequences until it looks like a beautiful, amazing fireworks show just for Yondu. He isn’t ashamed to admit that he has to blink tears away.</p><p>“He didn’t chase ‘em away,” Rocket says.</p><p>“No,” Peter says.</p><p>“Even though he yelled at ‘em. And was always mean.” Rocket looks down, his voice quieter. “And stole batteries he didn’t need.”</p><p>Peter stares at him, before he figures out that it’s not Yondu that Rocket’s talking about. He feels himself soften. “Well, of course not.”</p><p>Rocket stays quiet, but he stands a little taller.</p><p>He can feel Gamora staring at him, and he turns towards her, smiling slightly. “What?” he asks. This must be the first time she’s seen him smile since Ego, but she doesn’t say a word about that.</p><p>“It’s just…some unspoken thing,” she says softly, eyes meeting his. He nods slightly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She sinks into him, her own arm coming up to turn it into a side hug, and he’s never felt so warm.</p><p>They all stand together, him and his family, watching the Ravager funeral and the colourful dust of his dad drift through the air, and for the first time in what feels like a long time, Peter thinks he’s going to be okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey</p><p>hey you know what would be cool</p><p>if you left kudos or maybe even a comment</p><p>thanks so much for reading! come find me on <a href="https://a-cannibalistic-elephant.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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